"we stopped looking for monsters under the bed when we realized they are inside of us." This was my best friend Aj's favorite quote. He understood it more than most people: on the 26th of July 2013 he killed himself. At 3:15 the next morning he was pronounced dead. On the night of, I found out. my heart and time seemed to stop. I spent the next 7 hours there and 7 the next day, so did a lot of other people. He never got a chance to see all the poeple who loved him more than anything else. H didnt see the tears of the hugs or the broken hearts. If only he had looked further ahead to all of this. I am now staying strong for him. #thedoctorisinheaven
We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there.
Maybe if I chop my hair,
I won’t miss your hands woven in it.
Maybe if I sleep fully clothed,
I won’t feel the absence of your hands.
I lay with a heating pad now.
Artificial warm isn’t much,
Compared to your deep breath.
I subconsciously leave space,
For your absence.
It weighs down atop my chest,
Just like your 153 lbs used to.
Do you feel sad when you think about,
She didn’t mean anything to you or I, Well, until,
Until she chose our destiny,
With her forked tongue and beady eyes.
You allowed her to whisper for me,
“I can’t love him anymore”,
When I was screaming,
“Come home to me my love!”.
A juxtaposition arouse,
Originating from my heart and brain.
The latter squawked her choice,
As the first weeped mine.
I want you to destroy me in the best way imaginable.
of your soul
far too late